


For James and Lily

by xMagicalMystery



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-10-10
Updated: 2011-10-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 17:36:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15645639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xMagicalMystery/pseuds/xMagicalMystery
Summary: When Sirius Black falls through that veil and Remus Lupin falls with the force of that curse, they're not dying. Not really. (Originally posted on fanfiction.net on October 10, 2011)





	For James and Lily

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally posted on FF.net in October 2011 and has not been edited since then. Migrating over here so all my fics are in one place!

Sirius Black looks around the circular office, an avalanche of memories overcoming his mind. He wants to force them away, but his aching heart won't let him. The office looks remarkably like it did all those years ago, when he'd sit in front of the headmaster with James, and often Remus and Peter by his side, as a Marauder. All the odd instruments are still here, the portraits are still here, and Dumbledore's brilliant oak desk is still as magnificent and intimidating as ever.

It's just he and Remus that stand in the office now, and how things have changed. It's amazing, he thinks, how the room can look so similar, yet the circumstances are so drastically different. Years later, he and Remus stand in that office, in wait of Dumbledore to arrive and instruct them on what to do now, because they are both so lost, so empty.

He looks at his only remaining friend, who is watching him intently. This is the first time he's seeing him, really seeing him after all those years. They've written letters, and of course there was that time in the Shrieking Shack, but he was more intent on earning Harry's trust, and getting rid of Peter then, so driven with rage as he was.

Peter. The reason he'll never see Lily and James again. The reason he spent twelve years of his life in Azkaban for a crime he didn't commit. The reason Remus lost his best mates. The reason Harry is off living as he had - an outcast in a house he hates with people that hate him. Anger and pain more powerful than he's ever felt surges through him, and he sees white. He forces himself to stay collected, stay sane for Remus' sake.

Sirius points at Dumbledore's desk, and both men give a weak, shaky laugh. At the corner of his desk, the words 'Mischief Managed' are engraved, still there years after James had carved them in. It was so easy, so simple back then. They felt like kings, taking pleasure out of trouble. It was so much easier as the Marauders, but they'll never have that again.

Sirius looks over at Remus, and he seems so weary, so much worse than he did when he and James were by his side. All that effort they put in to make it easier for Remus was because they couldn't bear to see their friend in pain, and he still can't, so at that moment Sirius Black steps forward and engulfs Remus in a hug. Every prank they pulled, every laugh... it's all coming back to him now, and he's glad. Why forget the great because of the bad?

"He looks like James. Just like him," Sirius says when he steps back. He doesn't have to say who, Remus knows. They're the first words he's spoken to Remus since they were in the shrieking shack a year ago. "I saw his face that night and I just... lost it. He was like a replica of James, and the reason James is gone was right there! He was right there Remus, and we let him get away!" Sirius bangs a fist on Dumbledore's desk, shaking with fury and grief.

"There was nothing we could have done," Remus assures him, resting a calming hand on his friend's quivering shoulder. He himself has thought this over to the moon and back, over and over, every night for a year. It's his fault, his condition is the reason everything went wrong. He's trying to convince himself as much as Sirius.

"James was the one who helped me up on the platform in first year when my mother shoved me to the ground for helping a muggle born. Do you remember, Moony? You were there," Sirius is saying, and Remus nods wordlessly. "Remember we made you sit by us where ever we went a week into first year? Its because James saw you sitting alone at breakfast once and said you were too good to be sitting by yourself."

Remus' hand is shaking now, too. "That time in second year, we stood up for Peter when those Slytherins were picking on him... we got two weeks of detentions for that. Filch took us out to the forest with Hagrid," he continues, and Remus lets go of Sirius' shoulder, afraid he'll hurt the already worn man with his iron grip. "You... you and James were the only family I ever had, and I know you think that too. You were yourself around us. We gave Peter a group to belong to, we gave him everything..."

Sirius is crying and Remus is crying beside him, but neither man cares, so overcome with bottled up emotion. "We were brothers. We trusted him, we would have died for him… AND THEN THAT COWARD! THAT BLOODY COWARD DESTROYED ALL OF IT! He took away James, he took away Lily... and you didn't trust me anymore. I lost everything that night in Godric's Hollow. You, James, Lily. When the aurors came and took me away, that's the reason I laughed, because they thought they were taking something from me. I would have been a prisnor in Azkaban or outside it, without you guys," Sirius is barely managing to get his words out, his throat is closing up so tightly and tears are falling freely. Remus is shaking, shaking until he has to sit down, his head dropping into his hands.

"Lily found out about my lycanthropy just after you guys did. I didn't know she knew until three years later. She stuck with me, with all of us through everything. It shouldn't have been them. James and Lily… they didn't deserve this. Harry didn't deserve this. He asked me what his parents were like… I could never speak about them for long, but I tried to for him," Remus is pouring out everything he's thought for so long, letting the memories spill in synchronization with the tears streaming down his cheeks.

They haven't allowed themselves to think about this before, for fear of breaking. But now, by each others side once more, they feel a little bit of that strength they felt as the Marauders in school. And it's all they can do to stay sane, to fight through it. They need to be Marauders again, they need to hold it together, to have the courage to push forward. For James and for Lily. And for Harry, too.

James and Lily gave them everything, and now they need to repay them. James and Lily would never ask for it, but they need to. Its then that they both decide that they will do whatever is in their power to fight in their names against the forces that caused their deaths. To ensure they didn't die in vain, to protect Harry. Harry who they loved as dearly as they loved his parents. Of course they always knew they would do this for them, but a certain comfort comes with this unspoken agreement, a motivation and strength only James and Lily could ever give them.

They need to be the Marauders again to make it through, but they won't be. Not really. Not without James. But that's the driving force that keeps them fighting in the hardest of times.

When Sirius Black falls through that veil a year later, and Remus Lupin falls with the force of the curse that kills him two years after that, they die as heroes, fighting against Voldemort. They die completed, satisfied, their mark forever with the world. They die for James, for Lily, for Harry, and for a better world. They've finally repaid them.

When Sirius Black falls through that veil and Remus falls with the force of that curse, they're not dying. Not really. They're souls set free. Free to unite with James and Lily once again.

And finally, they're Marauders again.


End file.
